Thursday, September 22, 2011

Amsterdam Doldrums

My goodness how time seems to move so strangely here. I have been away for a year now, and on one hand it feels like just a couple weeks. But on the other hand I cant even remember life before I left.
I was talking to a kid from California the other night who just up and left Wittier. He doesnt have any plans, and is thinking of going home soon.
He has only been away for 2 weeks, but he told me that it feels like an eternity.
I think its because when you travel, everything is new. Nothing is routine any more so everything stands out in your memory.
But for me right now, I have been here so long that nothing is new. Everything is routine so nothing stands out in my memory. The days fly by, but I cant remember anything that happens - Amsterdam is just a huge blur, with clarity on a few moments that specifically stand out to me, my North East Europe trip, a few people, a few goodbyes, a few parties, and a few nights out. But the majority of my six months here are just Amsterdam - thats it.

I guess the same goes with my life back in California before I left. Nothing really stood out. I think this may be a truth about life in general - because even my time on the road, the road just was the road. Days blended to weeks which faded into months. Life was about living - no goal or purpose except living it. I wasnt looking for anything in specific, I was just finding things.

I feel like I have found everything in Amsterdam though, just like in Los Angeles. I know there is plenty of things that I havent found in both of these cities, but this emotion isnt rational, I wont try to rationalize it. Instead Im just wondering when it will end, what happens when I have explored every city in the world? Im guessing thats what lead to space exploration... We had already discovered the earth.
I know some people who never have this feeling, they are perfectly content to stay in their home town. Some of them are perfectionists, so they prefer to explore one place and keep finding more and more (because honestly, you can never really find out everything bout a big city, you can spend your entire life in one and still find new things every day) and then there are people like me, who after even a couple of weeks start to feel the need for a new place. I dont think we have the desire for the small details, we just like to catch the vibe of a place, and then move on. Some places take longer than others, but I know for me personally it doesn't take very long.
So the question is, do I embrace this? or fight this.

1 comment:

  1. I'm in Edinburgh, Scotland doing a one year Master's program now. You should come visit if you get a chance, it's pretty awesome here. (This is Kelsey Lounsbury's boyfriend Robert, just in case you didn't make that connection, lol).

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