Iceland

It was really hard waking up on the morning I had to leave Amsterdam, partly because it was weird knowing I was leaving, and partly because I had only gone to bed a few hours earlier (I was out enjoying my newly earned freedom from the rules of the hostel)
I got up, grabbed my bag, and headed for the train station with a couple of friends. Next thing I knew I was at the airport. Then I was through security, then I was on my plane in my exit row window seat. It didnt hit me that I was leaving until we started to take off, I was of course listening to Sigur Ros, and the beautiful music mixed with the emotion of leaving my home of the last 8 months brought a weird but sad smile to my face...
I just listened to music for the 3 hour flight, and as we descended from the clouds, and I cought my first glimpse of Iceland, Glósóli, the song I had been listening to hit its crescendo. I was plastered to the window and soaked in the bizarre Icelandic landscape. Huge clouds of steam rising from countless geothermal pools, not a single tree, just volcanic rock and brown grass. Strange brown hills and cracks, with snowy mountains in the distance. We landed, and I walked out of the airport into the cold air. It smacked me in the face, ok. Iceland is pretty cold...

ICELAND!

I met Hilmar, and we drove into town. I dropped off my bag at his house and had a quick coffee (the 4th one that day) then we headed to the gym. While he was training, I wandered around a park near the center of Reykjavic, and realized that when the sun sets at 5pm - it gets even colder. But I sat on a bench and smoked and enjoyed the stares that I got from people. "who is this idiot in shorts and flip flops?!"

After training, Hilmar drove me around and showed me some of the sights, then we went and met up with a couple of his friends and ate hamburgers at a famous Icelandic place, where we saw 2 Icelandic celebrities. In a country with only 300,000 people - everyone goes to the same places.

After that, we drove around the docks and checked out whaling ships and the new Icelandic coast guard ship. We went to the new concert hall where Bjork was playing, and wandered around for a while and tried to sneak in... We didnt get in. Then we met up with Hilmar's girlfriend Sigrun, and a few of their friends and we went to the pool, a huge outdoor community pool where everyone hangs out in the warm water and talks. There where tons of different pools with different temps, and all the water is heated by the volcanoes. In fact all of the head in Reykjavic comes from natural geothermal water, and all the electricity is produced from the steam found in nature.

I sat in the 44 degree pool (thats over 111 degrees Fahrenheit!) while it was below freezing outside. And I went down the waterslide. Awesome.

Hilmar is going to let me use his car tomorrow to drive a 300km loop around the most beautiful sites in Iceland. A tour on a bus costs over 10,000 kronur ($100), and I get to do it in my own car at my own pace for the price of gas. Amazing. The only problem is I cant afford gas, Hilmar and Eyvindur and I went to all the hostels to look for people to go with me, I put up a flyer and this morning had enough people email me to fill the car. Amazing. So tomorrow I will set off with a guy from somewhere I dont know, a girl from Poland and a girl from Australia for a big all day loop around Iceland! Im so excited for a sick road trip.

On our way home, we saw the northern lights flash across the sky, and I crawled into bed around 3am and I slept like a baby.

This morning I woke up to the sound of Hoppípolla (one of my favorite Sigur Ros songs) and Hilmar made me breakfast of this crazy thick almost yogurt chunky milk stuff. And toast with cheese and coffee. Then he dropped me off in the city, and I have been wandering around. My first stop was a record store, and I listened to an entire vinyl record of this amazing band called Rokkurro. The music here is so amazing... Then I stepped back out into the cold, and now Im sitting at a cafe drinking espresso to warm up before heading back out to see what else I can find. I heard there is a salvation army store here, and I might try and find some pants... But I kinda like the stares I get :)

Amsterdam Doldrums

My goodness how time seems to move so strangely here. I have been away for a year now, and on one hand it feels like just a couple weeks. But on the other hand I cant even remember life before I left.
I was talking to a kid from California the other night who just up and left Wittier. He doesnt have any plans, and is thinking of going home soon.
He has only been away for 2 weeks, but he told me that it feels like an eternity.
I think its because when you travel, everything is new. Nothing is routine any more so everything stands out in your memory.
But for me right now, I have been here so long that nothing is new. Everything is routine so nothing stands out in my memory. The days fly by, but I cant remember anything that happens - Amsterdam is just a huge blur, with clarity on a few moments that specifically stand out to me, my North East Europe trip, a few people, a few goodbyes, a few parties, and a few nights out. But the majority of my six months here are just Amsterdam - thats it.

I guess the same goes with my life back in California before I left. Nothing really stood out. I think this may be a truth about life in general - because even my time on the road, the road just was the road. Days blended to weeks which faded into months. Life was about living - no goal or purpose except living it. I wasnt looking for anything in specific, I was just finding things.

I feel like I have found everything in Amsterdam though, just like in Los Angeles. I know there is plenty of things that I havent found in both of these cities, but this emotion isnt rational, I wont try to rationalize it. Instead Im just wondering when it will end, what happens when I have explored every city in the world? Im guessing thats what lead to space exploration... We had already discovered the earth.
I know some people who never have this feeling, they are perfectly content to stay in their home town. Some of them are perfectionists, so they prefer to explore one place and keep finding more and more (because honestly, you can never really find out everything bout a big city, you can spend your entire life in one and still find new things every day) and then there are people like me, who after even a couple of weeks start to feel the need for a new place. I dont think we have the desire for the small details, we just like to catch the vibe of a place, and then move on. Some places take longer than others, but I know for me personally it doesn't take very long.
So the question is, do I embrace this? or fight this.

"Iraq and America friends."

Last night was tough, I had to say goodbye to Firas.
Firas has a crazy story. He is Iraqi, and when America invaded, his life got flipped turned upside down. Long story short he has been on the run in Europe trying to seek asylum for the last 9 years. He got denied and this morning he flew home.
Firas has been working as a cleaner at the hostel for 2 months now, and since the start we have been buddys, but especially in the last couple weeks our friendship has deepened. We hung out and talked about Iraq, and America and politics and all kinds of crazy things.
When I started looking into traveling to Iraq he told me all I needed to know to stay safe and where to go. Then when I started looking into working as a military contractor there, Firas explained that if he was trying to blow up a Humvee with an RPG and he saw me inside he would say "Hey Taylor, move out of the way!" before firing, it became our joke, he would mime an RPG and tell me to get out of the way!
We gave him a Arabic/English bible when he left, and I wrote him a note inside the cover, it loosely translates "I will miss you brother, I hope we see eachother again somewhere in the world. Thank you for your friendship"

We listened to Amr Diab last night, and sang along with eachother while dancing in the cafe! It was great. We hugged goodbye, and he told me that when he gets home he will talk to his friend in the embassy and see about getting a visa for me. Me getting an Iraqi visa is technically impossible through normal methods. But there is a chance Firas can work something out. I would love nothing more than to go spend some time with him and his family in Iraq!

I have been looking into jobs in both Afghanistan and Antarctica. Doing various support work (Warehousing, dispatching, food service, etc) on the bases there. My current thought is to go home for a few months in November, and then maybe around the first of the year head to one of these places and work long hours in a high paying job for a few months. Then head out on the road again to either The Middle East or Russia.

Small Picture

One year. Im spending a whole year in one place, thats hard to put my head around.... My friend Gail laughed when I told her that Im staying here that long, she said that I would never make it. She gave me a couple months at best.
Some days I have a strong desire to return to California, but I really dont know why - I like it here way more. Maybe its not a desire to return to California, but a desire for whats next.

I was watching the latest episode of The Office last night, and half way through I started thinking about the next episode, and if it was out yet... I actually paused the show and checked to see if I could find the next one - before I had even finished the first.
I think thats a good analogy for how I think, I want whats next before Im through with what Im doing currently. My friend Chet once told me "when your here [Ecuador] - be all here." Im really bad at that.
Whats funny is that Im truly living my dream right now, today I met up with my friend Wendy, we met months ago in Thailand and again in Laos, and then completely randomly bumped into eachother in Cambodia. She lives in the north of Holland and was visiting Amsterdam today. We got coffee and caught up, then I walked her to the train station and saw her off. Im doing what I dreamed of before I left home, and what I longed for when I was travel-sick in China. Living somewhere, having a broad group of friends, working a job, having house-mates. This is literally a dream of mine coming true, and it has been preceded by 6 months of vagabonding around the world with no plans and nothing tying me down. I should be so content and stoked for every new moment!
I guess its just feeling the constriction of real life after a extended break from real life. I dont want to travel forever, I learned that. I just want to be able to drop all and go at any time. Even if I dont want to drop all and go, I want to be free too.
Is that selfish? Is it unreasonable? Is it impossible to live life that way?

I think if I was to come to Amsterdam open ended, and work here month by month - I might just stay forever. But the idea of having to stay, having agreed to stay, is making me feel trapped - and therefore I just want to get away!

I find no fault with this place, with the work Im doing. No I love it! But what hurts is not having freedom.
Small freedoms are no problem, having dinner at set times, and a schedule of when to work. I love that, I need that. But the big ones, the long term contracts... Thats where I have a hard time.
At my internship at Cypress Church, I didnt mind working from 12-5 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and from 7-12 on Sundays. That was fine. But the fact that I couldnt leave and pursue something else for a two year block - thats what made it so hard...

I have had 14 jobs in the last 7 years, I worked for a while, and when I figured it out, when it lost its challenge and mystery, I quit and found a new job. When the country of Laos lost its mystery in my mind, I moved on to China. When changing cities every two days lost its appeal, I settled down in Thailand for 3 months.
I dont have that option here, a weekend trip, or even the ten day trip Im going on in July doesnt give me the freedom I crave. I know I have to be back at a set time, and that thought will haunt me the whole time.

Is this something to change? To work on and block out?
Or is this something to embrace.

For now though, I live in Amsterdam! Its amazing. I love my work, I look forward to each shift. I love the people I live and work with, and I love this country. I guess I just need to look at the small picture - take it a day at a time. Be all here.

Queen's Day - Amsterdam 2011

Queensday is the annual celebration of the queens birthday here in The Netherlands. The hostel has been fully booked for weeks, and all the Dutchies talk about it with awe. The cafe was scheduled to be shut down, and the person in charge of scheduling made sure that everyone had at least one block of time to go out and enjoy the festivities.
I worked the sleeper shift on queens night, the night before queens night. The night started off pretty normal, there where more drunk people than usual and everyone was wearing orange.
I went out with a couple of guests at 2am to Niewmarkt square, right next to the hostel, and was amazed at the insanity... The streets where piled high with empty bottles and cans of all kind of beverages, from absinthe to Hieneken, no joke - it made the streets in Mumbai look clean in comparison.
The bars here all have a deal running where you can save up the plastic cups that your beer comes in and at the end of the night cash in the cups and get a euro for each one, a couple of us exploited this deal, and collected cups all night, when people get drunk they forget about this fantastic money saving opportunity and the cups litter the ground like popcorn on the floor of a movie theater.
While I was digging through a trash pile for cups, I heard "hey your the guy from the hostel!" A group of girls from Finland came over and we began to chat, they where really drunk and only wanted to make out. I talked for a minute, then one of them dumped a glass of beer over another ones head, and they all began crying. I excused myself and returned to collecting cups.

I periodicly checked into the hostel to drop off my ever growing cup stash, and make sure Heibert wasnt getting overwhelmed at reception.
Then about 3:30am it happened. I bumped into one of the Finish girls who was starting to get worried about her friend, the really drunk one. She had disapeared. An over dramatic yet fun man woman hunt began, and we searched the city like TSA dogs searching for an ounce of weed.
We decided to call it a night around 4, and hope that our drunk friend made it back alright, when Matt made a joke and pointed to a random person and said "HEY THATS HER!" we all looked and it actually was, Matt was more surprised than anyone, and we swore not to tell the others that he was joking.
The friends where re-united, and it was beautiful. We all shared a group hug, and the girls started crying again and babeling in Finnish, so I went inside and cleaned the bathrooms.

I got up this afternoon and went out once more for cups, I wandered around more and saw lots of people who had been out since the night before. The police just kind of step back for a few days, and Amsterdam turns into a wild west "anything goes" place. The drug dealers go from conspicous to REALLY conspicuous, and the uninforced "no marijuana in certain public areas" rule disappears all together. I watched a young kid on a bad acid trip literaly try to eat his own arm while his girlfriend held him and cried because she couldnt do anything. The streets are full of people walking around with nitrous oxide canisters offering a balloon full for 4 euros (thats the happy gas they give you at the dentist) the streets flow like rivers with a mixture of piss, vomit and beer. Dubstep and house music is blaring from all angles at all hours, and nobody rides bikes anymore, half because of the broken glass covering every surface, and half because its impossible with all the people crowding the streets.
I saw 4 police officers the whole time.
The canals are jam packed with boats full of drunk people wearing orange and dancing, and the redlight district is surprisingly empty...

Insanity

After my walk, I cashed in my cups and ended up with about 50 euros! I then began my evening reception shift. In the first 60 minutes, I had grabbed a drunk guy who wasn't staying at the hostel and dragged him out of one of the girls dorms, chased a guy upstairs after telling him he couldn't go upstairs, forcefully removed his beer from his hand and threw him out the front door, and broken up a party on the steps of the hostel that was blocking guests from coming in.
The rest of my shift was pretty quiet, then I walked home a little after midnight and took in the carnage. The streets are pretty much abandoned, save a few die hards still trying to find a party. The wind has blown the bottles and cans into snow-drift like piles, and leftover items that people didnt sell on the street are piled everywhere. Tons of clothes, toys and everything else left in heaps. cars drive slow and you constantly hear the popping when a car hits a beer bottle on the road. On my ten minute walk home, I counted numerous syringes, barbie dolls, books, glass beer mugs, refrigerators laying on the sidewalk and more empty cigarette boxes than you can imagine. The evidence of car crashes is everywhere, bent poles on the side of the road and shattered tail light remnants.

Its going to take a few days for this city to recover...

Niewmarkt Square

Amsterdam

Its been a long time! Im sorry for the long gap my loyal readers, but its been quite the couple weeks adjusting to life in one place, and life in a western culture none the less! My journal and diary have been written in loads, but I have neglected my blog.

I left India, sad to be leaving such an amazing country after such a short time, but excited for the next part of my adventure! I spent the night in the Delhi airport and boarded my flight to London. I didnt sleep much, and hadnt slept much the last week, but the adrenaline was still flowing steady!
I watched a few movies in the flight (Social Network is an amazing movie!) And landed at London Heathrow in the early afternoon. I grabbed my immigration card and filled it out in line to save time. When I got to the lady, she flipped through my passport and asked how I had been affording all this travel! I explained how I sold everything and took off 5 months ago, but that I was about out of money. She was impressed, and then turned it around and said "how are you going to stay in England then, if you have no money? Where are you staying? Who is paying for you?" I was tricked. I talked my way out of it, and she stamped my passport and welcomed me to England.
I had planned on meeting up with an old friend there, but didnt know how or when. So I headed downtown and wandered around for a few hours. I got online and got in touch with my buddy, and went to his apartment. I stayed with him for two nights, and he showed me all of London! A beautiful city. I saw the rosetta stone at the British museum, and we hung out at the British librairy. We saw Big Ben, the London Tower Bridge, and took the tube everywhere (I minded the gap)
I booked a ferry to Holland that night, and the next morning took a taxi to waterloo station, then a train to Norwich, then a 8 hour ferry to Hoek Van Holland, officially entered Europe, and then a train to Rotterdam. I changed to an Amsterdam train and rolled into Amsterdam Centraal Station at about 7pm! I found my way to Nieumarkt Square, and from there recognized how to get to the hostel from looking at it on Google Street View. I walked into the place where I would work for the next year, and checked in as a guest, without telling anyone I was staff.
I stayed two nights, talking with my future co-workers and getting the feel of the place. Then I went to the Willemstraat, where I will be living with all the other staff and moved into my room! I have two roomates, Jefta from Holland, and Bjorn from Germany. And there are about 40 of us living at the house, its really cool. The kitchen is restocked every week, and the house is huge, with several awesome places to hang out on couches.
I got my bike the next day, and started exploring the city! I found an awesome film store and got film for my 60 year old camera I bought in India, I have been taking pictures with it as often as I can afford the film!
I began working, and really like it. I work reception sometimes, and cafe other times (I prefer morning reception) but I enjoy all of it for the most part.
On one of my days off, I made a bunch of sandwiches and took the train to Utrecht to meet up with a Dutch couple that I had traveled with in Thailand, we spent the day together in Utrecht, and went to an awesome Belgian pub for some of the most amazing beer ever. Then we cooked Thai green curry at their apartment and reminisced.
I found a cigar shop and bought a Romeo y Juliete robusto (from Havana Cuba!) for 3 euro! There is no embargo here! Then I took the train home.

I have began some awesome relationships with my fellow staff members, and already said goodbye to some, and welcomed new ones. I have met awesome guests who insist on me visiting them in their countries (from India to South Africa) and learned the system of how things work at Shelter.
And its only been 2 weeks. Who knows what the next 50 will bring!

Im already re-examining everything I believe, that happens when you live with 40 people from all different backgrounds, all sharing their beliefs and philosophies, and Im excited to learn from them and challenge the things that I believe but dont know why.

In a couple days, Im going to Bruges in Belgium for the night, to explore a bit more of Europe! Paris is only 3 hours away, and I can be in Germany in under an hour. Im hoping the posters I put up around the hostel for computer repair can bring in a few extra Euros so I can see these places!!

It hasnt been without its discouragements and adjustments, my body still hasnt adjusted back to sandwiches and bread. Im always craving rice, and Im needing to take alot more alone time than ever before, but I think thats a good thing. I have learned to be alone and enjoy it, before I left I couldnt be alone. Now I need to be.

And also, Amsterdam is an amazing city... amazing. I still have to stop myself thinking "Id love to move here some day..." or "if I lived here..." because I DO live here!!

Taken with my Yashica 635 TLR, right next to where I live

From Delhi to Amsterdam

The Taj was sweet, I sat on a roof and enjoyed the view for free! I headed to the train station early, and just sat on the platform reading and watching people.
A group of beggar children came up asking for baksheesh, and I told them no, but bought them some juice and insisted that they drink it right then (otherwise they sell it back to the shopkeeper for a couple rupees) they posed for some pictures, and I taught them how to beg in English!
Almost all the begger kids in India are working for a syndicate. They live and eat together somewhere, and pay all the money they earn from begging to the leader. Who through fear and dependence keeps the kids in his pocket. Many of the deformed beggars are mutilated intentionally to earn more money (Think Slumdog Millionaire)
The way to stop this, is to cut off the money to the leaders of these syndicates, as hard as it is - stop giving money to these children... But buying them food, and making sure its opened or watching the kids eat it, is a way to help them without paying into the corruption.